Michael Jordan Sucks At Basketball

Michael Jordan sucks at basketball.

You heard me.

Everybody always talks about how great Michael Jordan is at basketball, but I went back and watched all of his games and I think he sucks.

I’m better at basketball than Michael Jordan.

I can dunk from probably, you guessed it, one hundred yards.

Probably more if I get a running start.

I need only disregard the laws of physics, and I can dunk from any distance.

Here I go.

Here I am holding the ball at one end of a field.

I run forward and leap into the air.

I soar across the field in a Jordanesque pose.

And I descend toward the net.

I make contact and

the backboard shatters,

shards of glass raining down.

One need only disregard the laws of physics, and anyone can be better than Jordan.