Author Archives: ncalberts2

Knock knock. Who’s there? It’s the cops. The cops? Yeah, it’s the cops. Open up. I get up, open the door. What can I do for you, officers? You’re under arrest. We’re gonna have to take you in. Under arrest? What for? Says here, under arrest for destroying a human life. Destroying a human life?Continue reading “Knock Knock”

My buddy is a good guy. I met my buddy at a Chinese restaurant. He was sitting on the counter. He asked if I could give him a ride. I said sure. Just let me get my fried rice. We drive around the city. My buddy tells me that life is suffering. I feel ya,Continue reading “My Buddy”

Here’s the thing dude. Basically, when it comes down to it, It’s a matter of practicality. You have to look at this thing reasonably. Logically. If you get all emotional about it then you’re not going to be able to… You’re not going to be able to do the things that you need to do,Continue reading “Here’s the thing, dude”

The noble oak My favorite plant As mighty as an elephant One’s trunk is brown The other gray But I’ll take either  Any day

Alone again Walking dark hallways in dreams Awakening in the night outside of space and time And not a point of light in the sky

It’s the most peculiar thing Since I was a young man I’ve heard the dripping of a faucet In the back of my mind Always it dripped As I went about my day In brief moments of quiet As I drifted off to sleep And always I strove to find it I drove in carsContinue reading “The Faucet”

I always say Why do today What you can do tomorrow But in truth This is the cause Of my eternal sorrow I’ll write that book I’ll learn guitar I’ll clean this mess away But when I wake To my surprise Again it is today

My name is Joe Don’t have much dough I live inside a green auto I go to bars I drink some beers I eat hot wings I mumble cheers At night I run through fields of hay And when I wake The world is gray

It was humid today; like a sauna. It reminds me of a friendly Swede I once knew. He was a huge advocate of saunas. He said to me, “I really can’t recommend saunas enough. They’re great for your health.” “I’ve heard that,” I said. “It’s because of saunas that I look so young. It’s whyContinue reading “Humid”

I was hiking in the woods when I came across a frog seated on a log. “Have you seen my pond?” he said. “It seems I’ve lost my way.” “No,” I said. “I don’t really know the area that well. Best of luck.” I waved to him and went along my way.